Leon Kennedy Goes to Alfea
by Phil From Produce
Summary: Leon kennedy goes to rescue Ashley from Alfea. Rated T for Teen. READ THIS: This story is very, very silly, if you've got something bad to say about that type of comedy, you might as well not read, cause it won't make much sense.


Title: Leon Kennedy goes to alfea

Summary: A crossover of Resident Evil 4 and Winx club, Leon kennedy is asked to investigate alfea for ashley (she got

kidnapped again, goddamn los illuminados.) And to rescue her. Takes place about a year after The events of RE4, or 4RE.

Rated: T for Teen (Probably a lot of mushy stuff and a little bit of cussing, as if thats any big deal these days.)

Disclaimer: Resident Evil 4, Winx club, and Duane chapman aren't all mine, but Gaylor swift and her Fangirls can

kiss my man-ass.

---

Leon Kennedy Ran up to alfea, the school for Fairies and magic. He responded to a call on his Tele-Communicator.

"Leon, can you hear me?" asked Ingrid Hunnigan

"Loud and Clear, Hunnigan, you came back to help me again?" asked Leon

"thats why i'm here. anyways, you're looking for Ashley graham again." said Ingrid

"Story of my life." said Leon

"Try to behave yourself. i'll try to get some information on my end about this place. Hunnigan out." Said ingrid

Leon looked at the massive school. never in his wildest dreams (or adventures) did he happen to see a place like this.

he began to head for the school, coming upon 2 girls walking along. he stopped them.

"listen, i'm looking for this girl. do you know where she is?" asked leon

one of the girls spoke in italian. the other spoke english.

"She says you're a creep that you want her to date her sister." said the english speaking girl.

"I just asked her if she saw this..." leon was cut off by the italian speaking girl wielding a spade. he ducked back just in time to avoid

having his head cut off.

"Freeze! I said Freeze!!!" yelled leon

Just then, A giant block of ice formed around the girl. she froze solid. The english speaking girl ran off.

Leon got back on the Telecommunicator.

"Leon, what is it?" asked Ingrid

"There was a hostile local. i just said freeze and she froze solid." said Leon

"thats weird." said Ingrid

"And she told me i was a creep for showing her a picture of a girl that i wanted her to date. when i asked her if she saw the girl on the picture."

Said leon

"Continue on. Ashley's safety is our number one concern." said Ingrid

Leon closed up the communications, and continued forward to the school.

---

Leon infiltrated alfea and looked around for any signs of ashley. the only thing he found was a bunch of girls holding hands and blowing kisses.

"what?" asked leon

"Hey, whats a boy doing in here?" asked a purplish-pink haired girl

"investigating." said Leon

"I'm tecna. Who are you looking for?" she asked

"This girl. she was kidnapped a few days ago. we had a call saying she was here." said leon

"BS! you're here to get some action!" yelled tecna, who proceeded to run off.

As she did, all the other girls ran off as well, leaving leon alone in the room.

"where's everyone going? Bingo?" asked leon

---

Leon got back on the telecommunicator.

"hunnigan, you there?" asked Leon

"here and in fear, why do you keep checking in?" asked Ingrid

"Something is very weird here. it seems all the girls are either....L-l-lesbian or Bisexual." said Leon

"Leon, i told you not to play that joke again! i'm sorry, i can't help checking out victoria in our photo recon!" yelled ingrid

"no, i'm serious, ingrid! i'm flippin' serious this time. no bull!" yelled leon

"how could a whole school be like that?" asked Ingrid

"Beats me. Could you perhaps look up some research for me? about this place i'm in?" asked leon

"Done deal. check back once you've found ashley." said Ingrid

"I will." said Leon

"And don't check in before, you're risking connection traces and interception. this is top secret." said Ingrid

"yes, ingrid. leon out." said Leon

----

Leon walked down various hallways, until he heard some moans and screams in a room nearby.

"No! no! i'm not like that! ughhh!" it sounded like ashley

Leon took cover behind some cover. he pulled out his handgun, ready to fire.

he turned the corner and ran into the room, and saw ashley stripped down to her underwear and taped up.

"Leon! help!" screamed ashley

Leon looked around the room, all he saw was nothing.

"Ashley, whats going on?" asked leon

"They tied me up in here! they want to rape me!" she cried

"Don't worry, ashley. i got you out before, i'm gonna get you out again." said Leon

"Thanks leon." said Ashley

leon undid the tape and bindings.

"They hide your clothing anywhere?" asked leon

"nah, they just burned it." said Ashley

"I'm gonna have to pick you up a new set. wait here." said leon

leon looked out the door and saw a bunch of robots coming at him! he came out of the doorway and began to take aim.

He took aim at one and fired, hitting the robot in his chest, causing it to leak fluid all over the floor.

The other robots picked up books and pencils, hoping to use them as weapons. Leon didn't stand for it. he took aim and shot a

robot holding a binder. the bullet went through the robot's crotch, but it didn't do anything. the robot didn't hold his package or anything.

"Shit. they have ballguards." said leon

Then, one of the robots threw a pencil at leon, hurting him. but luckily, leon had a green herb with him. he used it and healed himself.

"Leon! behind you!" ashley informed leon of faragonda coming.

Leon looked behind him and saw faragonda holding a 12 gauge shotgun.

"Young man, you're not supposed to be here." said Faragonda

"And old lady, you're holding my young lady here and i don't like it." said Leon

"Too bad." said Faragonda

"Yeah, too bad. she's coming home with me." said Leon

Leon whistled, and Ashley burst out of the room in her underwear and bra. Leon and her ran down the hallways, opposite faragonda.

The remaining robots fled when leon pulled out a grenade, but they didn't get away in time, as leon blew them up.

"LEon, my clothes?" asked Ashley

"Don't worry, ashley. you can have my shirt if you want." said Leon

Leon took off his buckskin jacket and his grey shirt. as soon as he did, A whole gasp went through the school.

"it's a boy with his shirt off!" yelled a girl

"Get his abs!" yelled another girl

Ashley, put the shirt on!" yelled leon

Ashley quickly put leon's shirt on, and leon got his jacket back on, and ran into a bathroom.

in there, him and ashley hid in the connector room. (the room thats empty between the hallways and the toilets, so that way

peeping toms are heavily disappointed.)

Leon got on the telecommunicator.

"Leon, how are things?" asked Ingrid

"chilly." said leon

"My god, leon, did you take your shirt off?" asked Ingrid

"whats the big deal? it's just my chest." said Leon

"why didn't you take that shirt off before? damn, when you get home, i want to take care of you and your war wounds!" exclaimed Ingrid

"Either way, i've found ashley, and now i'm coming home. send an evac chopper." said Leon

"Yes, Sir!" ingrid spoke with so much enthusiasm

---

"I won't comment on how good you look, leon." said Ashley

"Fair enough." said Leon

"I guess cause you didn't comment on how good i look." said Ashley

"my only job is to rescue you, nothing more." said Leon

"oooh, my legs are cold." said Ashley

"Don't make me take off my pants!" said Leon

"if you take your pants off i'll give you a Blow..."

"Sold!" leon yanked his pants off. ashley put them on, as baggy as they were, while leon was standing there in his tightey whiteys.

"So, Lets go!" said Ashley

"So when can you do it?" asked Leon

"Do what?" asked Ashley

"Give me that little treat for the pants?" asked Leon

"when we get home, loverboy. now lets go!" said Ashley

Leon kicked the door open, and came face to face with a crowd of girls. immediately, he was taken down and dragged away.

---

"Eh, wake up, man!" said a voice

Leon woke up and looked at himself. he was butt naked. there was scratch-marks all over his body.

"What the hell happened to me?" asked Leon

"Ese, you got the girls all over them abs of yours, man." said the guy

"Who are you, man?" asked Leon

"It's riven, dude." said Riven

"Hey, we met up in that story thats coming up in Phil From Produce's stories!" said Leon

"Yeah, we did." said Riven

"Yeah, where you're a crazy guy who kills people and gets sent to a asylum where i'm a guard." said Leon

"Oh yeah, lets tell the readers about that story!" said Riven

"Readers, it's called "Insanity in Blood" and it's coming out when Phil from Produce feels like posting it!" said Leon

"Thats right! now that i've promoted you, it's time to set you free." said the author, me

Riven and leon were freed from the shackles that chained them to the wall.

"Wow, you need a set of threads." said Riven

"No shit i do, man. you got any?" asked Leon

"There's probably some panties laying around in the laundry." said Riven

"No way, man! not friggin' happening!" said leon

"Do you wanna walk home stark naked?" asked Riven

"I'd rather go home stark naked than wear lily of france or victoria's secret, man!" said Leon

"well, what about tight jeans?" asked Riven

"they have that there?" asked leon

"Or they have thongs and G-strings, it's up to you." said Riven

---

it was pretty obvious what leon wanted to pick.

luckily, Ashley was also in the room with them, but she was knocked out, so all he had to do was carry her out.

And he did. he got riven to watch what was happening in the hallways, and hopefully find his jacket so he'd have at least some cover.

and as soon as he left the room, he saw his jacket. it was on the top of the pole, with girls whistling at it.

"Damnit!" said Leon

"They're Hell in high heels, man!" said Riven

"well, lucky you, at least you wern't disrobed." said Leon

Leon ran out of the school and ran for the pole, butt naked. a lot of whistles and cheers rang out.

Leon kicked the thin pole and knocked it over. he immediately jolted for his jacket, and picked it up and ran. with ashley on his back.

he kept running until he was into the forest. he put ashley down on the ground and put his jacket on.

Then, he got on the Telecommunicator.

---

"Ingrid, you there?" asked Leon

"Yeah leon, whats up?" asked ingrid

"I have ashley, and i'm clear of the school, but i've had a serious wardrobe malfunction." said leon

"Hey! get on the Ground!" yelled a voice

"Leon, whats happening!" yelled ingrid

"Whats this!" yelled a voice

"Thats mine!" said leon

---

Turns out on the other end, leon was being arrested by Dog the bounty hunter

"Get on the ground!" yelled Dog

"I am on the ground!" yelled Leon

"Shut up!" yelled dog

"What the (bleep) do you want!" yelled leon

"I want for you to shut the (bleep) up and get the (bleep) on the ground!

---

Moments later, leon, and ashley were in the back of dog's car.

"So we were coming after you because you didn't appear in court." said Dog

"For what?" yelled leon

"For not appearing in court." said Dog

---

Sorry, readers, this story just got too messed up for me to write. it's kind of like a monty python style story, it doesn't really have a satisfying

ending, plus it has promotion for another story. so, please read and review. Flame if you like, tell me when you laughed, Tell me what made you say "OMGWTF?" and whatnot. i appreciate your feedback.


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